My Driving License - It's Useless!

Like 78% of the Malaysian populace, I sometimes like to give the impression that I have more money than real. So I went for a test drive, giving hope to a salesperson friend of mine that I am buying a new car.

At the showroom, on the agreed time, three of us were there. Ken, me and the car.

Ken said, "Stanley, give me your driving license". "Why?" I asked.

I came to know that it is a requirement and I promptly handed mine over.

Ken said, "Tai lo ar, le lesen say chor ho tor lin lo". To everybody, it means, "bruder, you punya lesen sudah mati manyat lama or".

The next day, at the post office, the clerk there told me he can't do anything and his eyes said, "what an idiot!" I then went to JPJ and the same thing happened. I bumped into this kind looking Malay gentleman who provide personal service. Being asked, I told him the story. He saw that more than 3 years has passed since the last expiry. He said. "Uncle pun tak boleh tolong you."

I am sure you must be curious to look at the license, right?

Nah,















The only recourse now is to go to JPJ Putrajaya. Ya, I know, it sucks.

I drove there 2 days later and I realised that I completely do not understand this Administrative Centre of ours. You are supposed to go to some remote place there and take the local bus.

There are no parking places anywhere! Fuck me dead!

So, like a true blue Malaysian, I parked along the major road besides JPJ and walked in. Of course, the parking was illigal. Do you know that the buildings are all like 200 meters from the main road? They have beautiful grass areas and all. I have to walk 200 blinking meters in the hot sun!

Seeking directions from some uniform people in the building and after a few trials, I went up to the correct floor and waited my turn to talk to this pleasant looking girl. Well, she said it is not a problem. I just needed to write a rayuan letter and it will be okay. Just a mitigation letter? And everything will be okay? I remembered thinking that maybe I struck some winning lottery or something.

After some very polite interrogations, I came to know that she meant if you have no serious past offences, they will approve you to have a L license so that you can go take your freaking driving test again. However, you do not need to attend classes and pass your undang undang. She smiled.

Also, should you pass your driving test, you do not need the P period.

So the next day, I went to this driving school called Safety Driving School. What a clever name. This is besides Armada Hotel, you know the hotel that house a bar upstairs where they have the longest bar counter in the country and where quite a lot of middle aged women go to pick up companions. Wonderful place.

Spoke to a woman called Norie at the school, got some discounted pro rate agreement on just 2 lessons of 2 hours each and then the test. And yes, she agreed to write and obtain the rayuan letter on my behalf.

3 weeks later, the letter was ready. I went to the school to pick up a copy and a few days later, I got my L license, Hooray!

(to be continued)